Diary of a Mad Woman

Monday, March 05, 2007

Well, everyone is a year older. I can't believe it's been a year again. Shit. What's up with that? Son#2 & our 2 granddaughters have been living here for a year. It's working out OK. They don't have enough room of course. Son#2 is working for the railroad that DH and Son #1 both work for. He is still training, but there is no reason to think he won't be a full time employee in a few weeks when he's done training. He went to "Railroad College" in Kansas City last fall. It's 6 weeks and practically a prerequisite for BNSF to hire someone now. Dear Daughter is going to Nursing school now. She finished her college pre reqs last fall. 2 years of this. Son #1 and his wife are having a baby!! She just graduated from Nursing School last December. We just found out today...IT'S A GIRL!! Can't wait. This will be our 4th (or 5th) granddaughter. Son#2 still hasn't found out if the baby his wife had last May is his or the guy she was messing with at the time. An independent DNA test costs $400.oo. They haven't exactly had the money. She's really starting to look like our son. I have a feeling it's his. She has custody of this baby. I hate to say it but I don't think she shoulda had this baby, or should have given her up for adoption. She wasn't conceived in love. It's a sad deal. I would like to know who's baby she is, but that's not my job.
Gotta go bake (sick) DH a birthday cake. Gnight!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Okay...It's been a while since I have posted. I was scheduled to have carpal tunnel surgery on my left hand and a tenotomy (tendon) on my left foot little toe. (All of my foot surgeries have to do with correcting things that my peripheral neuropathy have caused). My left little toe the tendon was pulling on my toe so tight it looked like a miniature mountain, plus he was going to take the bone out of it. I am still not sure why he took the bone out. Well, the day of surgery - Feb 8 I told him about this terrible pain I'd been having in my right foot and showed him a blister on my right little toe that was infected. I had the blister for well over 3 months and it wouldn't heal. So he decided to go ahead and operate on the right foot also. He said the pain I had was from scar tissue from a previous surgery and he was going to do the same thing on the right little toe that he was on the left. Long story short. The surgery on the left foot and my hand worked out great. One week after surgery the right foot was very red amd irritated. The nurse said that I was probably doing too much and to stay off it and be sure not to get it wet and leave it bandaged. I was to come back in a week to get my stitches out (I had plenty of them-all tolled I had 7 incisions). A week goes by and OH MY GOD. When the bandage was removed on the right foot...it was INFECTED and there was a marble sized growth at the base of my last 2 toes on that foot. It looked like a piece of gnarled meat. It was hideous. I had never seen anything like it. The nurses had never seen anything like and when the DR told me what it was he said he had seen them before but not that big and nothing that had grown that fast. It is a hypertrophic granuloma. The way I understand it, it is scar tissue that is growing out of control. He cauterized it with silver nitrate and told me to come back in 3 days. When I came back, sure enough it had regrown, but not as much. All of this was lastFriday and I have another appointment tomorrow. It looks like the growth on the granuloma has stopped, but he said he still may have to operate on it again. And he is afraid of my losing my little toe.
I also found out that my blood sugar is all messed up and I suppose that it has something to do with not eating right, the infection, the granuloma and the stress of the surgery. I finally got an appointment with an internist. Maybe I can get some of my health issues straightened out. So that is the excitement that is my life.
My youngest son's divorce is final and he got custody of their 2 and 4 yr old daughters. He is getting out of the Army a nd they should be here from Washington in about 2 weeks. I cannot wait! It has been over a year since I have seen them. His slut of an ex is pregnant and not sure who the father of the baby is. There will have to be a DNA test done naturally when the baby is born. Then I don't know what is going to happen if the baby is my son's. I suppose he will let her keep her for a while. Then I hope he takes her away from her idiot mother too. I hate my ex daughter in law. She broke the hearts of a lot of people. She needs to be taught a lesson. I loved her like my own child, but she crossed the line when she screwed up that family.
Oh more stress. Last week at the beginning of the week, I am not sure of the date..my husband, Rich who is a locomotive engineer ran over a pedestrian while on the train. The IDIOT was drunk and lying between the rails with one leg over one of the rails. Rich didn't see him till he was almost on top of him, his train was only going 27mph but trains cannot stop on a dime. About 20 cars went over the top of this guy. Did it kill him? No. He is damn lucky. He lost a foot and got a cut and bump on his head. He was 4 times over the legal limit drunk and didn't even realize he had been run over by a train!!!!!! Now he is suing the Railroad. What an IDIOT.
Well that's all the excitement for now. I have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn to take my granddaughter to school. It will be the first time I have driven since Feb 8. Ya'll have a good one, ya hear?

Tuesday, January 10, 2006


2006 WHAT'S AILING YOU?
PERIPHERAL NEUROPATHY. TYPE 2 DIABETES. CARPAL TUNNEL SYNDROME.ULCERATIVE COLITIS.
If I had an audio file of a large file escaping, that's what you'd hear right now. A. Because it's so late, and I'm so tired. And I feel like doggy doo on the bottom of your shoe. Can't believe this is my first entry of the year. I've posted a few over on my AOL Journal. I've been busier than a one armed paper hanger with the holidays and 9 yr old granddaughter practically living here for the past 2 weeks. God love her. We have had a lot of fun. For some reason she seems to think I am the entertainment committee. Is that moi's fault? No doubt. No doubt.
Yes, I think I'd like to hear about what's ailing you. I need someone to commiserate with. I'm in pity party mode right now. The weather changed and turned colder. It wreaks havoc with my feet . They are super sensitive to cold. How can feet that feel no pain feel pain. Of course I guess you'd say they are only numb on the surface. The pain comes from within. When the weather causes it, my pain medication doesn't work very well. Waaaah waaah. May I have cheese with my whine? Call the waaaaaahmbulance. LOL
If you have a chronic illness or condition and you need someone to listen. I'm your gal. I get so sick of hearing myself complain. I mean, I KNOW there's so many more people out there with problems far worse than mine, far more serious than mine. But all I have to go on is what I have to deal with. (Does that even make sense?)
My feet hurt. My hands hurt. My UC is in remission right now so I'm not afraid to leave the house for fear of not being able to find restroom in an HURRY. However, I am in just plain fear of leaving the house. Oh, I didn't mention high anxiety and panic attacks yet did I? I dunno, I guess I don't consider my neuroses part of my illnesses. I should I suppose. I take enough medicine for them. (How in the hell did I get back on me again?) Shakin my head. I'm a piecea work. Maybe I need to go to bed. As Scarlett would say "Tomorrow is another day".

Saturday, December 31, 2005



Since I'm not really feelin it yet. That's all she wrote. :\

Friday, December 30, 2005

Heartache & Stranger Danger
By the way, for those of U who don't know-the 2 pups on the previous entry are my furbabies. The light colored one (he's kind of off white) is Jake-1/2 poodle 1/2 maltese.
He was supposed to be little-around 7-9 lbs. He weighed in at 19lbs last week. Sokay. We love him to pieces. He was 2 in Aug. The other little guy is Frodo. He's a 2 ur old long hair chihuahua. We got him last winter from our daughter. She rescued him from an abusive home. He is kind of skittish and doesn't warm up quickly to men. When our daughter moved out, Frodo & Jake had become like brothers & she couldn't bear to separate them. They are so much fun & we love them dearly.
The heartache I mentioned before, I was talking about our son's impending divorce. He's been with his wife since they were in High School-a total of 8 yrs. They have 2 daughters ages 2& 4. He's in the ARMY & has spent a year in Korea & a year in the Middle East. Now stationed 2000 miles from their families she has a "crisis" and becomes terribly lonely & unhappy. She has an affair with their neighbor who was getting out of the Army & has returned to his home, (ex?)wife &daughter? Now daughterinlaw is pregnant & not sure who the father is. Everyone loses in this situation. She's giving custody of the girls to my son and now her boyfriend has dumped her. My son lost his first love & the life they built together. I'm losing a DIL that I loved like one of my own. My grandaughters are losing their full time Mommy. It's such a mess.
STRANGER DANGER I babysit our 9 yr old granddaughter. Today she is walking home from a friend's house. 4 o'clock in the afternoon. A black man in a white car starts following her. Creeping down the street behind her. She realized he's following her & is trying to walk briskly home. It's so obovious that a lady down the street starts following him. She stays with him & he pulls into a drive. She stops & tells my granddaughter that she needs to get home. He then backs out & takes off the other way. She brought Ashely to the door who is crying hard now. Granted this man may have been looking for an address or house--but we don't think so He didn't live in this neighborhood but better to be safe than sorry. Ashley begged us to call the police, even though nothing had happened. So we did. They said they would come out & patrol around the area & get a statement from the nice woman who helped Ash out. It's sad that in this day a 9yr old can't walk one block without even thinking that someone might grab her. (There has been much in the news about the disappearance of 2 (& murder of 1) girls here. They were all young women but..... They just found human remains the other day & they feel like this is one of the young women that has been missing. If so, that will be 2 murders & probably a 3rd. They have a man in custody they feel is responsible for 2 of them & are looking into whether he might be connected to the 3rd one.
Well enough dwelling on the misery. Just a couple more days till the start of a New Year. I wish for peace, good health & love in your lives. Have a blessed 2006.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005


Christmas come & gone. It was less than eventful. I'm glad it is over, but hold the reason for the season in my heart. This year more than ever. Christmas day was kind of sad. Santa brought the kids what they wanted. He just can't undo the heartaches. And the weather. In the 70s. It's not WINTER when it's 70 on Christmas day.
Hubby, Richard was at work for 12 hours. Dinner was at his sis' house. His 92 yr old mother didn't want to come. She wasn't feeling well-mostly she was embarassed about her black eyes and the goosegg on her forehead from a fall she took. We're so fortunate she is in the good health & state of mind that she is in. She finally showed & "held court" among her family who could be bothered to show up. She perked up. :)
So all in all it was a nice holiday. Am looking forward to the New Year. I think it's going to be better.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

CARPAL TUNNEL & DIABETES
Well I guess my New Year's resolution will be to start taking better care of myself or shoot myself. At this moment....well, never mind. I probably have type 2 diabetes. (My DR didn't tell me this, but a nurse gave me the results of my fasting blood glucose and other blood tests that I had done). Plus I had an EMG test on both hands yesterday. I don't have the definitive results of that either, but the person testing me said that I more than likely DO have carpal tunnel in both hands. The left being far worse than the right. Like I couldn't tell that. They mae me an appointment for surgery on the left hand and also for a tenotomy on my left little toe on the same day-February 8. Yippy Skippy. Ya know I already had enough things wrong with me. I didn't need two more.

I spent 5 hours tonight making one batch of candy (NOT for me, to give as gifts) and one batch of cookie dough. That damnable candy better turn out. Ho Ho Ho. I am not finished baking. I AM through shopping but only a little of it is wrapped. I've been told I've got major OCD especially about Christmas. Ya think? OOPS there's an ornament askew.